The second candle: Love

The second candle on our advent wreath represents Love. We meditated on what God's love is. Can we grasp it? Tyler brought us a message on how God comes to us, where we are and meets us. When we read the words - "Prepare the way of the Lord." It doesn't mean, make everything perfect so that God can show up. Rather, as a statement - God is coming. Things are changing. He will make a way to us. What might God change in your life this advent?

Noah: was there really a flood?

So I've been thinking about Noah and our discussions on Genesis.

Reading the wiki article about flood mythology, it seems that most of the world's cultures have giant floods as part of their tradition. In most of the stories someone builds a boat or goes to the mountains with "seeds of life" or a way to repopulate the earth.

To me, oral tradition isn't usually factual truth but is usually based on a truth and is remembered in a meaningful way.

Geology research shows that there is no evidence of a global flood, but instances of several major floods throughout the world at various times from 1,000 to 10,000 BC.

So I wonder -- was there a global flood? Were there several floods that paralleled each other? Was Noah's flood a regional flood that covered the whole "known world" of Noah's time?

All knowning, All powerful, All present ??

This past week's biblestudy was quite interesting. We have been studying Genesis which gets at a lot of core issues -- Did God create the world? How? Did God know that man would fall? Was the fall part of his plan? Did Adam and Eve have a choice, or since it was part of God's plan it was inevitable that they would fall? Or do all of our choices lead to the same end?

These questions are hard, but I think useful in helping us confront the limits of our ability to understand God. At some level we all struggle with a little bit of agnosticism. Can we fathom a God that exists outside of time, before time? Can we believe in a God that we can not fathom? Some how I feel that faith is deeper than this. I keep searching for words to describe what faith might be if not belief -- trust maybe? love? connection?

Can we love God or have faith in God if we cannot know God? Do relationships begin with knowing each other? Or is it that God knows us and the relationship is one sided?

Advent

Advent is a time to be still. To be quiet. To wait. We think of candles and evening secrets, stars and wreaths. We prepare for the coming of Jesus.

This advent Crossings is making room for Jesus in our lives by taking time to be quiet and meditate. Our journey is marked by the four candles of our advent wreath, Hope, Love, Joy and Peace.

The first candle, hope signifies the hope for the messiah. What sort of savior do we hope for? What do we hope God will fix in the world?

Adam and Eve

I had some thoughts regarding the discussion on Adam and Eve, and, since unfortunately I can’t make it to Bible study on time, was not able to put out the ideas at Steve’s (and now that I’ve finished writing it all here, realized that perhaps it was better to write it out anyway, so you can read it or not, as you please!). I realize that this thought runs counter to what most people at the study seemed to be thinking, but in the spirit of good discussion and critical thinking, I will put it out anyway, and you can feel free to agree or disagree, and post a kind-hearted reply if you can add more light to my thinking. :)

I want to discuss the idea that other people besides Adam and Eve existed at the time of the initial creation of human beings. I realize that from a scientific point of view, the development of many human beings at once would be most sensible; and at first glance, it seems not to create any serious theological problems. On deeper reflection, however, I am disturbed by the possible implications of this hypothesis. For if not all humankind descended from Adam, then not all were subject to the same fall into sin. And if not all fell with Adam (being as yet inside him), not all were given the promise of redemption (crushing the serpent’s head as he strikes the heel, Gen. 3:15). And as Jesus is the second Adam, the life-giving spirit (1 Cor. 15:45), then only those descended from Adam’s sinful line would be saved through Christ. But in Romans 5:12-19, Paul seems to be saying that sin came to all through the one man, Adam, and reconciliation to all through the second Adam, who is Christ.

So, if other human beings were around but not in the line of Adam, then are they not saved through Christ? For the story only works when Christ is the savior of the entirety of Adam’s line. If others were there, but not part of Adam, is their redemption then outside of Christ? As in, they may be saved through Buddhism, Taoism, Hinduism, or whatever is indigenous to their culture? Is Christ only the answer and completion to the Hebrew “myth,” if that is what we’re calling it, or is He the savior of all? “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life. We believe and know that you are the Holy One of God,” said Peter (Jn. 6:68). Is this true? If other words of life, means of salvation, are out there, how am I to know that I am descended from Adam and therefore under the salvation of Christ? And what reason would Paul have had to spread the gospel to the Gentiles, if they perhaps had not even descended from Adam? Could not their gods save them, completing whatever creation myths they believed?

This is where, it seems to me, this manner of thinking could go. Is this what we want?

If not, I perceive several ways around it. First, to interpret the passage as meaning that Adam and Eve are indeed the father and mother of all the living (Gen. 3:20: “The man called his wife Havah [life], because she was the mother of all living” [CJB]). As they lived a very long time, they could have had many children (as is mentioned in Gen. 5:4). Perhaps not all of these children were born after Seth, and perhaps these were the people Cain feared as he left the presence of God and from among whom he chose a wife. It may not be extremely plausible to the scientific mind, but to my simple mind, it seems a possibility.

Another possible solution is to consider the flood. As Noah and his family were descended from Adam (and, by the way, not from Cain, whose descendants all perished in the flood), then of course all people subsequent to the flood would have been children of Adam (provided that we are considering the flood to have been an actual worldwide event).

The third and most tenuous solution would be more philosophical than literal. That is the notion that Christ is the savior of all humankind (and indeed, all creation), but that he fulfills the mythology of each culture in a way unique and perfect to it. So to the Hebrew culture He is the Messiah prophesied in Isaiah, the sacrificial lamb of the Exodus, and the second Adam prefigured in Genesis. To another culture he may be the fulfillment in another way, of which I yet have no understanding, since my cross-cultural knowledge is limited. Yet for all cultures He would be the fulfillment, completion, Savior.

I am beginning to rather like the last option. However, I do have some trouble with it, as it seems dangerously close to what my atheist/Buddhist/Hindu/Jain friend said about Bodhisattvas. A Bodhisattva, as I understand it, is an enlightened human being who has escaped the wheel of suffering through good karma but chooses to postpone his or her entrance into nirvana in order to help the rest of the human race achieve the state of blessedness as well. In this view, Buddha, the Dali Lama, and other such revered teachers are considered Bodhisattvas. As my friend sees it, Christ is just another Bodhisattva, an incarnation of god among many others, and one can choose to follow whichever of these one likes—or to follow none at all, but simply trust one’s own inner enlightenment (inner god) through the practice of meditation. Books (and churches), my friend says, are a waste of time, and are just people trying to get you to believe whatever it is they believe so they can control you. So, is Jesus just another enlightened one, one among many that lead along the path of blessedness (which is, it seems, really a way to save oneself), or is He the true, literal, actual (and included in that is also metaphorical) Savior of all humanity?

Some deep questions and froyo

This week at biblestudy we started reading Luke chapter 22 which is the start of the passion of Jesus. We read through how Judas decided to betray Jesus and the last supper. We had a lot of questions and interesting discussion. Here are some of the main ones that we talked about... interesting things to think about.

How did the masses of people go from believing Jesus as the messiah to shouting Crucify him?

If it was God's will for Jesus to go to the cross, why was it bad for Judas to betray him?

Peter denies Jesus, Judas betrays Jesus... why is Peter restored and Judas not?

Why did Jesus take bread and say - this is my body? What does that mean?

When Jesus died on the cross, did God die? did a man die? did God leave the man of Jesus?

When Jesus rose again - was it the same body? (people didn't recognize him, but he had scars, he could walk through walls, but he still ate food.)

Our brains got tired, so we decided to go eat frozen yogurt. We'll continue to read this story next week so if you have comments to share, we'd love to hear em.

Squatters rights

At bible study this week, we read the parable of the vineyard... the basic plot is that a man owns a vineyard and has tenants. He sends people to go collect some of the harvest and the tenants beat them up. Finally he decides to send his son cause he thinks the tenants will respect him. But instead they kill him because they think that if he's gone they will get the property.

Our initial discussion was about how Jesus told this parable to describe Israel and predict his death. It seemed pretty straight forward. But then we started thinking about the rights of tenants. These tenants felt that they had a right to decide how things would work on the property. They used violence to assert what they felt was their right. And their minds got twisted. Somehow they felt that they were entitled to ownership.

Applying this to our own faith walks we discovered that sometimes we act like this toward God. When we work hard on something and put ourselves into it, we assume that it is ours and we get really upset when God intervenes and changes things. We assume we have rights.....

What is wisdom?

This past week we talked about what is wisdom. In the bible we read about earthly wisdom and Godly wisdom. It seems a bit confusing. Earthly wisdom says "be prepared" Godly wisdom says "have faith." Earthly wisdom says "be strong" Godly wisdom says "make sacrifices."

Godly wisdom seems to go in the face of what we recognize on earth to be wise. Why is this? What is it about the spiritual realm that changes the nature of wisdom. Does Godly wisdom apply to earthly affairs or only spiritual ones? How do we discern what is wise to do in a given situation?

Jesus loves a hussla'

In biblestudy this week, we read a really interesting parable. The full parable is found in Luke 19. In summary the story is about a powerful guy who leaves for a few months so that he could be made king. While he was gone, he trusted his money to his servants. He gave one servant $100,000, one $50,000 and the last one $10,000. When he came back he found that the first two servants had doubled their money but the last one was worried about losing the money and simply hid it because he knew that the man was a hard ass and that he'd be in some major hot water if he lost the money.

We were thinking of this parable. In order to double someone's investment in a short amount of time you have to be out there really hussling. Looking for opportunities, taking risks, putting it into long shots and at the same time you have to have a great degree of discernment to know what's going to pay off in the long run.

When we tried applying this to faith we thought of the guy who hid the money as someone who believes in God but doesn't share it with anyone. Doesn't go to church. Doesn't talk about it with friends or family. Doesn't do anything with it. In this way, their faith is never stretched and it never grows. The easy thing to do is at least find a few people to share your faith walk with who are close to you. This is a safe investment. It grows slowly but there is little risk involved.

But the parables urge us to be husslers. To always have our eyes open. To always be willing to take risks and open our ideas about faith up to those around us who might challenge them. To share them with strangers. Jesus loves him a hussler.

Pick up your cross and follow me

This week's verse at Crossings was a tough one. Jesus asks the disciples who they think he is. Peter answers, "the messiah." Jesus says, "yep, and here's a secret. I'm going to go to Jerusalem and the chief priests are going to have me killed."

TIME OUT! If you are the messiah, the one who's going to save us. The one who's going to restore God's favor to the earth, why are you going to die? We were waiting for utopia. We don't get it...

Furthermore, Jesus says to them. If anyone wants to follow me, he needs to pick up his cross.

DOUBLE TIME OUT! Not only are you going to die and leave us in this miserable world but now you want us to die too? What is this, mass suicide? Why so much death? I was very puzzled by this. How could God's will be so seemingly destructive and pointless.

Jesus knows life beyond death. God sees the past and the future and the present all at once. I remember as a child having a very painful splinter. My mom said, it had to come out and it would feel better. I didn't want her to touch it. Why would she make it hurt more? She's supposed to make it better. Like God, she knew that once I went through the pain of getting it out I would be healed.

Death is a letting go. Picking up our cross to follow Jesus is a choice to let go of something in this world (a dream, a job, money, a relationship, a habit, a hobby) and follow what God calls us to do and be. To let our identity be changed by God. And if we do, let go and trust God, what life is waiting on the other side? Will it be better or worse? This is faith.

Jesus choose to let go of his Godliness and to die, a man on a cross. On the otherside of death he found life and a the relationship between God and humanity restored. What will we find?

Jesus has pissy days too...

This week at Crossings the gospel story portrayed a Jesus who seemed a little "off." His responses to people were more short than compassionate. We struggled with this text. Why is Jesus like this? Does he have something else to teach about these individuals? Is there a reason he is staying arms reach?

Jason, the new intern at DLC, brought an interesting idea forward. Maybe Jesus was having a bad day....

Did Jesus have bad days?

Does God have bad days?

Or does Jesus who is fully God and fully human experience his humanity like the rest of us and have moments where he is just fed up with people?

In his message, Jason spoke a word of comfort to us, that yes, in his humanity Jesus experienced being "off" and "not being in the mood." So that when we also face inevitable bad days, we can take comfort in knowing that God is with us in them.

But this has made me think about how God might feel watching mankind hurt the earth and hurt each other. Are there days that God just doesn't want to deal?

Living in community

For me, this evening fit the ideal description of labor day. A cool breezy afternoon in the park, BBQing, a game of ultimate frisbee, friends sitting around in fold-up camping chairs sipping on various drinks while kids did "performances" for us from just beyond the playground.

I looked around, some people I had known for the entire 3 years that I have been involved with Crossings and some I've only met a few weeks ago. But somehow, this evening, it felt like we were at a family reunion and that we had known each other forever with a type of intimacy that is rarely experienced among a group of friends. It felt like my favorite pair of jeans after they've been worn a few times.

This is what it means to be "church." to be the "body." One couple is getting married and we all gathered to support them in their wedding preparations. New students and professionals are settling into town to start a new life here and we gather to help them move in and feel welcome. My husband and I are expecting our first child and everyone gathers around us to help prepare for the new baby to come -- and not in a "this is a church duty" obligatory way, but in a comfortable, we count on each other the way we count on our family kind of way.

This evening, as I watched everyone enjoy the night. As I sat with my feet up, peaceful with the world and not being anything but myself. I was very thankful that God has worked in us all to form "the church" among us and pray that this kind of "church" could exist for everyone.

Thinking outside the box

Today at Crossings Jen challenged our thinking about God and life. We talked about how people assumed they knew who Jesus was and because of that, they put him in a box.

People do that with each other, with us. They think they know us and therefore know what we will do. But, sometimes people can surprise us. They can do something different than what we expect.

This is especially true for God. We have an assumption about God and what he is and how he works but really, what kind of box is big enough for God?

What do you assume about God? Do you put God in a box?

Letting Go.

In biblestudy, we talked about the parable of the man who had so much stuff that he needed to build a bigger barn. Year after year he accumulated stuff and built bigger storage spaces. Then, one day he said, "Ah, I have everything I need, I will rest and live happily." But God came and said, "Tonight your life will be demanded of you."

Our initial discussion found this to be very straight-forward. Don't spend your life so pre-occupied with getting a better house, better job, better car, rather make sure that you keep your eyes open to others around you.

But, the next section said, do not worry about what you will eat or drink, for the ravens do not worry and God provides for them. You are worth more than birds.

We talked about poverty and God's provision. When some people starve, how can we believe that God provides?

As we talked our conclusion was that these verses are about surrendering to God. That life is uncertain and bad things happen. We can do everything in our power to try to control that - buy insurance, get a good job, live responsibly, but at the end of the day, there is nothing we can do to prevent cancer or earthquakes or death. Those things are part of living in this broken world.

But, if we surrender. If we let go of our worry and trust God day to day. Then we are free. Our lives become light and full of color.

Of course, letting go of control is hard. Letting go of fear is harder

You gotta have faith....

This week at Crossings we read the stories of how Jesus healed several different people. What we noticed and discussed was that in each occasion, Jesus called the people to faith. He asked them to trust him, to believe him. They did and were healed.

What does that look like for us today? What does trusting a God we can't see, and often can not hear look like? What does healing look like?

We didn't have answers but we thought about the words Jesus shared with his disciples before he died. Two things he emphasized. First, that the holy spirit would come and second, that they were to love each other. From this we took that healing happens in relationship - with God and with each other. And that Faith and trust are about opening ourselves to that relationship.

God tells Job to "get a pair"

At biblestudy we have gotten to Luke chapter 11. You may wonder how this led us to God telling Job to "get a pair," I will explain. We ended spending a lot of time talking about the following verses:

30 As Jonah was a sign for those people who lived in Nineveh, the Son of Man will be a sign for the people of this time. ³¹ On the Judgment Day the Queen of the South will stand up with the people who live now. She will show they are guilty, because she came from far away to listen to Solomon's wise teaching. And I tell you that someone greater than Solomon is here.

This led us to read the old testament to figure out what Jesus meant by this. The stories of Jonah and the Queen of Sheeba are very different, but at their heart they are both about gentiles recognizing the God of Israel as God. So, here, Jesus prophesies that he will finally break down the barriers and all gentiles will be able to see and recognize God.

He continues after this to berate the pharisees and the teachers of the law, which got us going on just how good he is at ripping on people. I mean, it was brutal. He basically held them personally responsible for all the deaths of all the prophets in the old testement.

Again refering to the old testament, we read many sections where God is rather blunt with people for being disobientiant or for questioning his authority.

We ended up reading from the book of Job where God rips Job a new one for questioning him. Chapter 38 starts like this:

¹Then the LORD answered Job out of the whirlwind and said,
²"Who is this that darkens counsel
By words without knowledge?
³"Now gird up your loins like a man,
And I will ask you, and you instruct Me!
⁴"Where were you when I laid the foundation of the earth?

It is refreshing to see God's infinite grace and yet not a pushover.

calming the storm

At Crossings this week, we read the story where Jesus and his disciples are crossing the sea of Galilee. Jesus falls asleep and a big storm comes and threatens to destroy the boat. The disciples are terrified so they wake Jesus up. Jesus stands up and tells the storm to calm down, and it does.

Ali gave a great message about storms and how life is full of them. She reminded us that all along, Jesus was with the disciples through the storm. God is with us and close to us during the storms of our lives and when we surrender to that presence, the storm can go on how ever wild it is, but we are filled with calm. God is in control and we have nothing to fear.

Letting go is the hard part, particularly when we have a hard time trusting God, believing in him... that he is there at all. But even if we can't surrender, can't believe, can't let go of our fears, God is there anyways. That's grace.

as we learn to accept it, it becomes all the more beautiful.

The Kingdom of Heaven...

is like a mustard seed that starts small and grows on its own.

This is the verse we read at Crossings this week. It really touched home for me as I am 4 1/2 months pregnant which has given me a number of insights into faith.

At first, I was agnostic about being pregnant. A little stick told me that it was true but I didn't feel any different and had a nagging sense that it wouldn't really "stick."

Weeks passed and I had an ultrasound. Seeing a little body that moved and beating heart pierced me. But still I couldn't feel it. I wasn't changing that much and so emotionally, it didn't seem real. I was agnostic.

I realized that sometimes, even when God presents us huge blaring signs that he exists and is out there. We find ways to dismiss them. But yet, this small thing is planted in our hearts and grows. And as it grows it takes hold of us. It changes us.

And as I am now starting to believe in and connect to this baby that I can't see growing inside me, so in faith we find small ways to connect to and believe in God and to trust in Him.

Feeding of th 5,000

At biblestudy we are continuing to work through the book of Luke. This week we read chapter 9 which had a number of great stories including the feeding of the 5,000 and the transfiguration of Jesus.

One thing that we really discussed about this chapter was how it was a time of teaching for the disciples. If you notice the words carefully, when Jesus feeds the 5,000, he actually doesn't do the work. He tells the disciples to "feed them." He blesses the bread and then the disciples go out and give it to the people.

In this story, the disciples go from passive observers of Jesus's ministry to active participants who share in the work. What would you do, if Jesus turned to you and asked you to feed 5,000 people with a few loaves of bread?

Peter 2.0

The first chapters of Acts following the Pentecost focus on Peter as he assumes his role as the "rock" upon which the church begins to grow. Throughout the past year, we've read about Peter in the Gospel who was ordinary, thick-skulled, a little impulsive and poor with follow-through. But something happens to Peter.

In Acts we find him eloquent, bold and full of integrity. What happened to Peter?

Pentecost.

The pouring of the Holy Spirit out on Peter filled him with boldness and truth and made him unafraid and able to lead the newly founded church.

At Crossings, we reflected on how much we can learn from the fact that Jesus chose Peter dispite all of his flaws and that when the time came for Peter to carry out God's work, the Spirit was with him and gave him the courage and wisdom to do so. As we also, open ourselves to God and his work and will for us, we too can be changed and transformed to do more than we had ever thought possible

Pour out your spirit in this place

This past Sunday was Pentecost, the day of the coming of the Holy Spirit. What the heck does that mean? As we review our Easter stories, we see a group of disciples who encounter a risen Jesus but are afraid, confused and not sure what to do next. As Jesus promised, following his ascent into heaven, the Spirit came.

They were gathered in a room and a rushing wind blew through it and tongues of fire rested on each of their heads and they were empowered to speak many languages. And more over, they were emboldened to share the news of the Gospel with the whole world.

At Crossings, we remembered the Spirit is still among us today. Taking various forms. Sometimes through flashy means of visions or tongues. And others through still means of discernment and a boldness to do God's will even when it's hard. Our prayer was that the Spirit come and guide us and strengthen us to carry out the work that God has set before us.

Ruptures in our narrative

On the road to Damascus Saul, who was actively persecuting the church, has an encounter with Jesus and becomes one of the most prolific evangelists in history. This is the ORIGINAL Born-Again story that we can point at and say, ah-ha, all you have to do is have this encounter with Jesus and your life will change dramatically.

At Crossings today, we talked about how our life dramatically and permanently changes when we develop a relationship with Jesus, but not all of us have clear dramatic encounters. Some of our stories are more subtle.

Katie in her message called these "ruptures in our narrative." God does small interesting interfering things in our lives which don't always fit neatly together into a cohesive faith story, but they do bring us along in our spiritual journeys.

Living by the rules

At biblestudy we got into a discussion about rules... Why were the pharisees so bent out of shape about doing things on the Sabbath? People had to know exactly what they could and could not do so that they could make appropriate sacrifices to atone for their sins.

Jesus was wreckless about the rules. He seemed to break them because he didn't follow the letter of the law regarding sabbath. But, he wasn't breaking them, he subsumed them. In speaking to his disciples, he boiled the law down to two rules - love God, love each other. All the other rules are there to help guide people on how to do this.

As Christians, we try to follow these two big rules. We have the 10 commandments which help us understand how to do that. We have the the bible - the old testament and the letters of the apostles to help us understand stand what it means to do that. We are not burdened by the rules. They do not weigh us down as they did the pharisees. Why not? We recognize that we cannot follow the rules perfectly. The rules are there to show us how imperfect we are and how much we need God's help and forgiveness. We don't need to keep track of the millions of ways that we break the rules, because Jesus has already atoned for all of them.

A blessing for mothers

This past mother's day we read stories about how mother's sacrifice, protect and care for their children. In the book of 2 Kings, we find some remarkable stories about brave women who stood up for their children -- one woman's husband died and left her with great debt. The collectors were coming to take her children as slaves. She went to the prophet Elisha and to her neighbors for help. And God provided for her.

Another woman who was childless opened her home to Elisha. After his stay with her, he said that she would have a child. She did and the child grew. One day the child died. The mother would not give up. She laid the child on a bed and closed the door. She went to her husband and said that she needed to go see the holy man. "why?" "trust me" she replied. Along the way people asked about her husband and child. She replied calmly that everything was fine. When she reach Elisha, she threw herself at his feet and told him what happened. Again, God provided and Elisha brought back life to the child.

Mothers have the most awesome task there is -- to shape the future of the world. As they raise their children, they raise the next generation of inventors, scholars, artists, politicians, businessman and teachers. Their example, care and protection leaves a lasting mark on the earth for decades.

Who is the devil?

At biblestudy, we are now reading the gospel of Luke and this week we read about how Jesus was tempted in the desert. This sparked a very interesting conversation... what is the devil?

is it a being?
is it like the holy spirit, but bad -- everywhere all the time?
is it simply the absence of God?

We thought about places where evil exists and think about what shape it takes. Our first images were the grotesque evils of man - the holocaust, wars, terrorism, genocide. But in the story, evil is confronting Jesus one-on-one. It is an individual experience of something that is pulling away from God.

We talked about the things that pull us from God - fear, greed, pride...

But it is an interesting question to ponder. What / who is the devil?

The good shepherd

After Jesus was raised from the dead, the disciples were still a little confused about what they were supposed to do. Not having any better ideas, they decided to go fishing because it was familiar, it was "normal." They were out all night and didn't catch anything and in typical Jesus style, Jesus appears and tells them where to cast their nets so that they may catch a lot of fish.

Recognizing Jesus, Peter, in very typical Peter style jumps out of the boat and swims to shore to greet Jesus. But he does something very peculiar, he puts all of his clothes ON. Why?

Peter is in the doghouse a bit. If we can remember, Peter said he would follow Jesus to the cross and yet on the night Jesus was on trial, Peter denied even knowing Jesus 3 times. So he was eager to "make things right."

Peter reaches the shore and finds Jesus cooking over a campfire. Jesus asks Peter if he loves him. Peter says yes. Jesus asks Peter 3 times - this really hurts Peter's feelings because it feels a bit as if Jesus is rubbing it in. Peter gives up.

"Jesus, you know. You know how I feel."

Then Jesus, who has told his disciples many times that he is the good shepherd and that he takes care of the people, tells Peter to feed his sheep and tend his lambs. Jesus hands over the reigns to Peter and puts him in charge.

The Good Shepherd comes to, restores, forgives, heals and carries each of his sheep even and particularly when they mess up.

He has Risen indeed, how lazy am I?

Alleluia! Three weeks late. The business of lent and holy week knocked me off my feet. Much like the bewildered disciples on Easter day I was tired and almost wondered if the whole thing was a hallucination. But, with time and rest, the truth of Easter and the joy of the Gospel stand firm.

As the disciples encountered a risen and even more perplexing Jesus, they wondered "What now?" They had been following Jesus for 3 years. Do they go back to old jobs? Do they hang out and wait for Jesus to take them to heaven? What now?

At Crossings we ask the same questions - is this real? what now? Over the next few weeks, we will read stories of how Jesus comes to the disciples in the midst of their doubt, confusion and struggles to guide them on the path of becoming a church.

Passover

We continued our Holy Week remembrance with the celebration of a Passover Seder.

This Jewish meal tells the story of how God freed Israel from the Egyptians in accordance with the commandment to “Remember this day and celebrate it each year as a festival in my honor.”

The last meal that Jesus ate with his disciples was a Passover Seder. It was a great time of love and sharing and teaching before he has to leave them.

Our Seder was seeped in the Jewish traditions of a new friend who brought her family recipes and traditions and was wrapped in the warmth, love and intimacy the Jesus shared with the disciples and commanded us to share with each other.

Drumming a Sacred Passion

In this most holy of weeks, Crossings came together to remember the passion story. Starting with the raising of palms and the joyous entry into Jerusalem - we followed Jesus on his road to the cross.

Drums, images and words guided us through this sacred story and we participated in it through performing the ancient rituals of the church - footwashing, communion, prayers and the stations of the cross.

Wake up dead man

The gospel of John tells the story of several people who have encounters with Jesus and are reborn in some respect. The Samaritan woman, an outcast, is reborn into her community. A blind man is healed, becoming a new person who can see and who believes in Jesus.

With Lazarus, this weeks lesson, the rebirth becomes literal. Lazarus dies and is given new life.

Jesus showed up at Lazarus' tomb while his family, Mary and Martha, were in mourning. Jesus saw their pain and wept with them. Sometimes through the death of someone close, or a broken relationship, or the loss of a job we find ourselves mourning an old life. Rebirth is painful because it means letting go of what we know. Jesus commiserates with us in letting go of the old and gives us new life.

Blind man sat by the road...

This week at Crossings we read the story of the man born blind. Talk about the blues!

This guy is a blind beggar, minding his own business when the disciples decide to turn him into a morality question -- is the blindness his fault or because of his parent's sins.

Jesus spits on the ground and puts mud on his eyes and tells him to wash... people talking about you, putting spit on your face. Kind of a bad day. But this guy seems to be used to the blues. He just goes and washes.

MIRACLE! upon washing the guy can see!

This sets everyone off. Is it really the blind guy? can he really see. Everyone starts whispering. It turns into a big ordeal and people start questioning the guy over and over. Were you really blind? How can you see now?

The man tells his story but no one listens. They are all getting puffed up about Jesus spitting and how improper that is and how he isn't supposed to work on a holy day ("making mud" counts as work).

They keep asking the guy to say that what Jesus did was wrong but the guy can't do that. His life was changed by Jesus. So what they do? They kicked him out the the church.

Dude, talk about the blues. Going from one kind of outcast to another.
but yet, the guy doesn't seem to have the blues. Jesus touched him. Jesus changed him. He has joy that most don't understand.

An encouter with Jesus

Continuing our Lent journey through John, this week's lesson brought us to the encounter between Jesus and the Samaritan woman. Their conversation, like and onion had many layers. Each exposing what it is like to have a genuine encounter with God.

First. Jesus approached the woman. She was going about her own business and Jesus interrupted it.

Second. It was an invitation to step out on a limb. By asking the Samaratan woman for a drink he is asking her to step outside her comfort zone into a situation that is strange and uncertain.

Third. It is mysterious. Jesus transforms a conversation about the physical into a conversation about the spiritual.

Forth. It is honest. Jesus knows about the woman and the woman does not hide from Jesus. As he tells her "everything she's ever done," she neither excuses it nor denies it.

Fifth. It is transformative. The encounter with Jesus causes this woman to go from timid and outcast to bold and uniting.

God comes to us where we are, invites us into something uncomfortable and if we can be honest and if we can be brave. He can transform us and use us in amazing ways.

When life seems empty...

This week at bible study we read John 15. Jesus's last teaching to the disciples during the last supper. He says, "I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful."

A woman in our group has beautiful rose bushes in her backyard. And she called her dad about how to take care of them. His answer was to hack them until there's nothing left but a dead looking stump.

Reluctantly she hacked away till the beautiful, life-abundant bushes were nothing more than dead stumps. Afraid she had killed them, she looked out at them all winter, wondering if they would ever grow back.

In the spring, they grew. Bigger and more beautiful than the previous year.

Sometimes when life seems to strip down to nothing. When we lose our jobs, our health, our friends, our family, our favorite activities, when we have nothing left of us but dead dry stumps which seem lifeless. God is at work.

In those times all we have is God, and if we remain in him and let his love and spirit work in us, spring will come and we will arise and bear much fruit. Our lives richer and more beautiful because every unimportant and useless part had been chopped away.

So if God is pruning you. Live in it. Sing the blues. Read scripture. Pray. God will grow you again.

Rebirth

As our lent journey through John begins, we find ourselves with Nicodemous at night coming to Jesus and asking - who are you? who is God? what is heaven like?

In the evening our spirit stirs and we ponder the deep questions of life.

Jesus answers, "Unless you are reborn, you will not see the kingdom of heaven."

Well, if I can't understand God or heaven without being reborn. What does a person do to be reborn? We can't actually become a new person. We are stuck with the bodies we have.

Jesus answers, "You can feel the wind, but you can't see it. So it is with those who are born of water and spirit."

What is spiritual rebirth? and how does it open our eyes to understanding who God is and the deep questions that elude us?

At Crossings this past week, we tried to find words to express spiritual rebirth by reading poetry, stories and verses. As we continue on this lenten journey we seek to find out what this rebirth is and can mean for us.

John and the Blues

During my time at Holden, most of my study revolved around preparing to lead Crossings through the season of Lent

Since ancient times, the church has used certain readings from the Gospel of John to prepare new believers for baptism. I was curious, why these passages?

We've also developed a tradition of playing blues music and african american spirituals during lent. On a gut level, this music - FEELS - like lent. But is there something deeper behind this music that I could connect to the spiritual revelations in John?

Of course!

John is essentially a two part gospel. The first part focuses on what it means to be "born again" not born again in the accept Jesus as your person Lord and Savior sense. But to be recreated with a new life in faith. The second part shows us the path to walk on once we've committed to a new life in Christ.

It is not an easy Gospel. It is about letting go of our identity - letting go of our jobs, social status, patriotism, insurance plans and individualism for a new identity shaped by a call from God to live out the Gospel.

The Blues were born out of a need to express the raw pain and reality of slavery and of abject racism of a post civil-war south. The Blues are the truth of our experiences and the reality of being human in a broken world.

The Spirituals however are born of a different theology. Slaves saw Jesus as God taking on the burden of being human. Not simply human, but a human born in a barn as a slave is born, whipped by oppressors and killed humiliated and rejected. Yet, he was God's chosen lamb who died to free all of us and to make us all God's children.

The Spirituals are the expression of joy, hope and freedom that will come to those who are reborn not as slaves but as children of God.

So, together, the blues and the Spirituals embody the theology of John. Each of John's stories begin with a human condition that is broken. Each start with the Blues. With the acceptance of Jesus and the Gospel message, each is reborn as children of God and into the hope of the Spirituals.

This lent, we goin down to the river.

A Mountain Top Experience

I kicked off Lent far far away in a village called Holden, a Lutheran retreat center hidden away in the great Winatchee National Forest. I was at least 3 hours from cell phone reception and buried under two feet of freshly fallen snow.

It was definitely a period of spiritual renewal as I was able to spend much time in study, in prayer and in nature.

I had adventure too. Don, our drummer, is a ski patrolman and was fascinated by huge avalanche depositions all around the village. We made numerous hikes with our snowshoes to investigate the avalanches.

I am from the Midwest and am deeply acquainted with large amounts of snow. I am not however, accustomed to avalanches. I therefore listened intently to all Don's descriptions of how and why avalanches happen and what to do if you find yourself in one.

For the most part, there's nothing you can do if the avalanche is really big. In some cases, the wind alone is strong enough to kill you.

Taking this in, I went with Don on the mother of all avalanche hunts. We hiked 5 miles over the hills and surveyed 6 avalanche deposition areas, viewing even more avalanche trails on the opposing mountain faces.

It got quite warm and as we hiked we felt snow melting under our snowshoes causing us to start slipping as we walked the narrow steep trail. At the end of the trail we paused to look at the view. Startlingly beautiful and remote. I gazed around nothing but mountains for miles and miles on every direction.

Suddenly, a booming sound like a cannon echoed across the valley. I turned and looked to the cliff face next to me seeing pieces of snow and ice chip off of a frozen waterfall. There was no shelter, no way to run. I was certain that I had only seconds before an avalanche would come spilling over the cliff face. Never in all my life have I been so scared. Not in the face of gang violence in Detroit or war in Haiti. In this moment, creation was so much bigger and relentless than anything I've ever faced and I was filled with absolute dread.

After 10 seconds or maybe less (that felt like an eternity) I saw a fighter jet fly through the ravine. The culprit was man after all and the mountain and the snow stood still while I collected courage to move.

I am struck by the largeness of God and of creation. The vastness and the extremity that things so beautiful like snow and water and mountains are also so deadly. That we, in some circumstances are so hardy and resilient and in others so fragile.

"Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, the Lord is with me." took on new meaning.

Mountain and Valley

We started off this week with the story of the Transfiguration… Jesus walked up a mountain with a few of his closest disciples and was suddenly transformed into a brilliant, glorious appearance. Joe gave a message about how the disciples were awestruck and confused by a piece of God’s glory come down to earth, and how we often cannot comprehend the presence of God. After the Transfiguration, we come down from the mountain into the end of Jesus’ ministry into the season of Lent. This year we are going through stories of Jesus interacting with humanity every Sunday until Easter, and communicating the grittiness and pain of humanity through blues music.

Sara is out of town for the week at remote village in Washington called Holden. They don’t have phone or email reception out there, as part of a contemplative atmosphere, but I’m sure she will have interesting stories about it when she gets back. In the meantime, I have had a whole lot of silent time at home. Complete silence sometimes makes me uncomfortable because it forces me to hear my own thoughts. On the other hand, silence seems to be an appropriate way to start Lent… to start off by clearing the plate of the things that nag at the back of our minds like job security and life direction and what God wants with us.

What is love?

At biblestudy, we read how Jesus started the last supper by washing his disciples feet. The message is pretty straight-forward (unlike many other places in John). Jesus said, "If I am your teacher and I am washing your feet. Then you also shall wash other's feet."

Jesus was showing them (and us) what love is. Love is giving. Love us humbling yourself to do something that is "below you." Love is getting wet and dirty and cold for someone.

We had quite a long conversation about Judas. He was there and had his feet washed along with the other disciples. We talked about fate and how much Judas knew or understood his role in fulfilling God's will for Jesus or if he was simply a zealot who was dishearted that Jesus wasn't the type of Messiah that he had been hoping for.

Either way, Jesus washing his feet signifies that love is even more than doing something nice for your friends. It is also giving, humbling yourself in front of those who have hurt you. Regardless of Judas's motivation for betraying Jesus, he was still one of his best friends who handed him over to die. Forgiving and loving friends who have hurt us may be one of the hardest lessons Jesus teaches.

Letting go, finding healing

What is it to be healed? To take away pain? To take away the cause of pain? To become super-human and never face pain again? When Jesus healed people, what does that mean?

At biblestudy and at Crossings, we talked about healing and what it means for us. What it means to find healing in faith. Over all, it seems that everyone felt like healing was a letting go. A finding of faith that surpasses the sorrows and pains we feel in life.

Jeff once told me that when we are baptised we try to tread water to keep our head up. But with time, we get tired and we are left with two options... 1. get out of the water or 2. stop fighting and let go.

Letting go is dangerous. Going under means drowning. Dying to ourselves, to our desire to control all the bad things around us and make them go away. Letting go is trusting God beyond what we can understand or control. But, in letting go we find the peace and joy of the resurrection which heals us, fully and completely.

They shall run and not grow weary

This past weekend, we enjoyed an AWESOME time up in Gualala. As I had hoped, a prolonged weekend near the ocean brought me a sense of spiritual calm that I needed more than I recognized.

On Saturday morning, a group of us went for a run along the water. It was beautiful. It was beautiful but long. I haven't really run for a while so the 5 miles we did was more than my body was used to. On the way back I looked for marker after marker telling myself, I was 25% of the way, 50%, 60%.

We had less than a mile to go and one of the women got really tired and wanted to stop. But we were almost there. She couldn't give up now! I started clapping my hands. Run to the rhythm. Take one step after another. Almost magically, we both started running faster. We weren't tired.

The next morning at church they read the verse: "He shall restore their strength and they shall fly on wings like eagles. They shall run and not grow weary" (Isaiah 40) I imagined God running along side of us on the beach, clapping his hands - take one step after another, listen for my rhythm.

Life has twists and turns and a path that is hard to follow. There are so many times I just want to say - ENOUGH, I'M TIRED! and in the words of my best friend - NO MORE PERSONAL GROWTH FOR ME. I DON'T WANT TO BE A GROWN-UP ANY MORE, I'M TURNING IN MY KEYS!

That is when God runs up behind us, through a friend, through a moment, through sunlight in the trees, through the ocean, through a whisper and claps - one step after another, I'm with you. And suddenly, everything is alright. We aren't so tired and we can run but not grow weary.

Thank you, God.

a bottle of wine, a hottub and a weekend on the beach...

Sometimes we need a breath of air to clear our minds, discover new perspective or to hear the quiet voice of God speaking into our lives.

A few weeks ago, I learned that a group from church was going up to visit a mission congregation in Gualala (a small town north of Bodega Bay). I thought it a perfect opportunity for the group from Crossings to get away and have some fun together.

Plans came together so naturally. We found this awesome house with a hottub not far off the beach that was really cheap. People volunteered to help drive and cook and before I knew it, it began to feel like a high-school senior year road trip - with close friends and nothing but the highway in front of you.

Who is Jesus?

At the end of our Monday night biblestudy, Jeff threw out there that John paints a picture of who he needs / wants Jesus to be. The Logos, the infinite, the creator bound up in a man. Matthew paints a Jesus that is the fulfillment of Jewish prophecy. Mark gives us a Jesus that moves and shakes and makes things happen. Luke, a Jesus that flips the power structures on their head.

Each of the gospel writers hone in on and tell a story of a different facet of Jesus. They give us the Jesus they understood or sought.

It made me wonder, who do we want or need Jesus to be? How do we read those verses to pull out the aspects of Jesus that suit our understanding of the world? Do I blind myself to truth by not taking in the parts of Jesus's story that confuse or offend me?

...and they were amazed at his teaching...

This week's lesson came from Mark 1:22 "The people were amazed at his teaching, because he taught them as one who had authority, not as the teachers of the law"

Have you ever had a teacher that amazed you? that changed your view of the world? I think of my first year of college. I became an assistant for my art teacher who was this incredibly wise man (think Morgan Freedman and James Earl Jones roles) He was for me - my sensai. Long hours I would work in his studio, listening to the jazz, watching him paint and wondering what my place in the world would be. He would rarely speak to me, but I hungered to learn from him. I wanted to become wise and to figure out who and what I should become.

I thought of him when Jeff preached about Jesus's teaching and how he likened it to those amazing teachers we have had who have shaped us. It reminded me of how my professor would use metaphors with me but not explain them and let me think about them all day while I cleaned his studio. As we've been reading through John, it seems that Jesus taught in this way too - giving small bits to his disciples to ponder. It takes time and desire to grow for these kinds of lessons to sink in.

Fisher of Men

In this week's lesson, Jesus comes to the disciples and asks them to become "fishers of men" for him. Fishing is somewhat of an odd way to describe following Jesus. Are we like the disciples... specially called by Jesus to follow him or are we like the fish dragged away from our home and from the masses to a new place? Whether we volunteer or are dragged flipping and flailing toward discipleship it seems like we are called to leave behind our old comfortable way of life to follow Jesus.

It has always been a source of wonder that the disciples left their jobs and lives behind so readily to follow Jesus to who-knows-where. I sometimes wonder whether there is more to it than the personal charisma of Jesus himself. Perhaps Simon or Andrew felt the calling to do something more than just fish for the rest of their lives. Maybe for years they felt a nagging voice that called them to go on an adventure... to do something truly transforming in the world. Maybe when Jesus showed up on a mission from God and called them to leave, an uncomplicated "yes" was the only option their consciences could consider. Do you ever feel that call?

and the blind shall see...

This week at biblestudy, we discussed John Chapter 9. Jesus heals the blind man. In sum, Jesus's disciples see a blind man and ask Jesus if he is blind because of sin. Jesus says no, spits on the ground and rubs mud in the guy's eyes and tells him to wash in the pool. The man goes, washes and is healed.

People are amazed and they take him to the pharisee's who question him about who healed him. It just so happened to be the Sabbath, a time when Jews weren't supposed to work. So the leaders got in a fight about whether the healing was from God or not. They ask the blind man what he thinks. The blind man says that he thinks it must be from God. They kick him out of the synagog.

Later Jesus finds the man and the man believes in him. Then Jesus says "I came into the world to bring everything into the clear light of day, making all the distinctions clear, so that those who have never seen will see, and those who have made a great pretense of seeing will be exposed as blind."

People were so worked up about how well they thought they understood God that they couldn't see God's work among them. The lesson struck me that when we think we know who God is and how God works we become blind to what God is doing because we stop looking for him. Jesus made things simple - miracles done out of compassion were a sign of God's work on earth - simple people could see this. But people who had a preconcieved notion of who Jesus was supposed to be missed it completely. What preconcieved ideas do we have about God? can we see God at work now?

Come and See

"...He replied, "Come along and see for yourself..." After Jesus's baptism, people began to wonder who he was and what he was up to. His reply, come and see. He still calls us this way. Come and see what I have in store for you. Though it might be scary to leave what you are doing and follow, he promises an adventurous and amazing road.... As he said to Nathanial "You've become a believer simply because I say I saw you one day sitting under the fig tree? You haven't seen anything yet! Before this is over you're going to see heaven open and God's angels descending to the Son of Man and ascending again."

At Crossings this week, Katie gave a great message on this subject. She compared what was going on in the verse to the movie, "The Visitor" where a lonely professor runs into an immigrant couple who illegally moved into an apartment that he owned. Over the course of time he got involved in their live and they got involved with his. Jesus called these disciples who happened to be around him into a crazy adventure and he calls each of us. Are we brave enough to follow?

Jesus of Montreal

Our biblestudy watched Jesus of Montreal last Monday. It's an older film (very 80s). The basic premise is that a group of actors discover who Jesus is when they are hired to perform the passion play. The director explores what type of things Jesus would do or be exposed to in today's society.

It was interesting to see how the actors began to parallel the life of Jesus and his disciples. It made me think that when we have an authentic interaction with God, it changes us, even if we don't fully believe or accept it.

It also begs the question. Who is Jesus?

Nothing but the Water

Grace Potter sings an awesome song called Nothing but the Water. I heard it on the radio one day and stopped short because A.) she has an awesome voice and B.) at a closer listen I thought the words were such a great description of baptism. "Tried my hand at the bible, tried my hand at prayer, but now nothing but the water's gonna bring my soul to bare."

There's something honest about that. We are broken and can't understand what God is or faith is. Half of the time we have a hard enough time even perceiving that God exists. We fall flat. But yet, the water is there.

But how does the water save us?

This week we celebrated Jesus's baptism at the Jordan. Where the Spirit descended upon him like a dove and a voice from Heaven cried out, "This is my Son, with whom I am well pleased."

Jesus was baptized into obedience into God's will for his life and God proclaimed him as his son. His baptism marked the beginning of a three year ministry where he walked among the people - teaching them, healing them, feeding them, chastising them and ultimately dying for them. In Baptism, he received something from God and God claimed him as his son.

In the water, we receive God's mark on our life and he claims us as sons and daughters, irrevokably. Jesus did the hard part. We get the water.

A Year in Review

“The Spirit, not content to flit around on the surface, dives into the depths of God, and brings out what God planned all along. Who ever knows what you're thinking and planning except you yourself? The same with God...” 1 Corinthians 2:11 (the message)

Only the Spirit knows where God is leading the ministry of Crossings. This year at Crossings has been one of growth, change, faith and rebirth. The wind started to blow last January when the Crossings leadership team were ignited with a passion to connect with the essence of lent through the Blues. It was an amazing time of exploring God’s grace that meets us in the depths of what it means to be human and draws us to hope. Attendance grew. Worship deepened. We led a Wednesday night service.

In the middle of this amazing time, we lost David Blakely, the Crossings Director. Carried by the Holy Spirit, the lay leadership team continued to plan worship, reach out and grow the community. However, summer brought us new challenges. Life pulled the core of the leadership team in different directions and sadly Corey and Nancy Neu left us to start a new life in Indiana.

We spent the rest of summer trying to figure out what God was calling us to do. We looked at calling a second pastor, hiring a music leader, disbanding the service or just leaving it in the hands of the lay leaders. With the Spirit’s nudging, I stepped up to fill the leadership void. Feeling comfort that many of the disciples were not religious leaders or well trained, I hoped that the Spirit would be with me.

The fall was rough. The community had shrunk, the congregation’s energy was low and I wondered if God was calling me into the desert. I tried everything I could think of to build a new community at Crossings, but God taught me that it wasn’t by my works that His ministry happened. But by his grace.

Humbled. Tired. Broken. I let God do whatever he was going to do. And what God does is always amazing. In step with the church calendar, this advent was a time of pregnancy and I watched as a new Crossings was born. Beautiful. Spiritual.

I don’t know where God will lead us this year, but as we approach lent I look to the unyielding love on the cross and I know it will be just as it should be.